CFFC 09 #1 Prompt: Winter Wonderland
Elizabeth wandered through the snow covered fields with no real destination in mind, no path to guide her, just a feeling that this was the direction she needed to go. Humming as she continued on her journey on this cold, wintry, February day, the petite brunette knew she had to be outside. She needed to feel the snowflakes tickle her small, pert nose and brush along her angelic, soft cheeks. She ambled forward, with a new outlook as the unique little white flecks fluttered down from the sky.
The art student smiled as she recalled watching young children earlier as they built a snowman in the park, laughing as they pummelled each other in the time honored tradition of a good old fashion snowball fight. Elizabeth's smile widened as she imagined the kids running home as the sun began to set, and the sky turned dark. She pictured them entering their homes soaked to the bones from playing outside all day. The young boys and girls would quickly take off their wet clothes, trading them out for dry ones, and make their way to a roaring fire, their mother would have been sure to have started, all the while preparing hot chocolate for the kids to enjoy. As they sipped their warm, refreshing drink the adolescents would reflect on their day, thinking it was the best day ever.
The brunette sighed as she envisioned those feelings. That feeling of pure joy, and the college student knew she had felt that wondrous emotion only a few short weeks ago. She knew exactly what it felt like and when it had occurred. It had happened when she had shared that fateful Christmas with Jason in her studio.
If Elizabeth considered her actions of today, the petite brunette knew exactly why she was out in a blustery snow storm, trudging along, among the white covered pine trees. It was to be closer to Jason.
The mob enforcer had only been gone for a brief time, but Elizabeth missed him terribly. She missed his presence while she tried to paint. She missed him as he quietly listened while she would ramble about her life. She missed how his attention would always focus on her when they were together. She definitely missed their bike rides, but most of all, she just missed him.
Elizabeth tried not to think about him. The young woman knew her wandering thoughts would only lead to more misery, but the more she tried not to think about him, the more she did.
Pulling her leather jacket tighter around her slight frame as the wind began to pick up, Elizabeth gingerly rubbed her artistic digits along the soft, worn leather, smiling as she remembered modeling her present to her benefactor right after receiving it on Christmas morning.
Realizing the wind was increasing and the sun was no longer blazing above, the art student shook herself out of her musings and proceeded to finish her journey. A journey that involved Jason. Clutching the few objects she carried, on her trek, closer to her chest, Elizabeth outwardly sighed thinking it was always about Jason. Then the determined female hastened her pace so should could reach her destination in a timely manner and return home before it became too dark.
Even though her paced quickened, Elizabeth continued to appreciate the beauty in the snow covered pines. The essence of her surroundings. Elizabeth had always loved a gorgeously decorated Christmas tree, but now, she saw the attraction, and allure, in the ones that were only decorated in the way nature intended, natural, with no adornments necessary, only white covered flecks covering their prickly needles.
Nodding to herself, thinking, another thing I learned from Jason.
Suddenly, the forest opened, exposing a dazzling, delightful clearing. Watching as the sun slowly continued it's descent, Elizabeth thought, I need to return here someday to paint this awe inspiring vision, but it wouldn't be today. Today, Elizabeth had another mission to complete.
Quickly, the brunette found exactly what she was seeking. It was a small fir, probably not more than four feet high just nestled on the edge of the clearing. Heading to where it was located, the art student dropped to her knees, the newly formed snow soaking through her well worn jeans.
Elizabeth her wool gloves, now wet, from the recent flurry to start digging a hole. As the she continued to tunnel into the ground, the art student realized she probably should have brought something to dig with and more sensible hand coverings, but it was too late now, and the determined young woman was not going to leave until her task was finished. She could always get a nice cup of hot chocolate to warm her hands at Kellys upon her return.
After what seemed like hours, but was probably only twenty minutes, Elizabeth decided her hole was now deep enough to complete her project. Slowly removing the objects she had brought, kept dry, and intact in a plastic bag. At least, she thought, she had had the forethought to think of that. The brunette then slowly examine each item before gently placing them into the ground.
First, was the quarter Jason had given her on the docks that early November night. She smirked as she remembered how practical he had been when helping her decide on which idea to paint, and how he smirked when she decided it was only fair she keep the quarter. Elizabeth clasped the silver round object tightly in her small, delicate hand before releasing it and slipping it into it's final resting place.
Second, was the book on Egypt. This rather large book told her so much about the man she shared space with only a few months ago. It showed her how very complicated, yet extremely simple a man Jason Morgan truly was. The enforcer enjoyed learning facts. He wanted to explore the places he read about, and Elizabeth couldn't fault him for that because she wanted those things too. It was one of the many things the two had in common, a desire to see the world.
Third, was the Christmas angel Elizabeth had constructed for their small, yet larger than life, Christmas tree. She traced her index finger along the edges of the skirt as she remembered exactly what Jason had said to prompt her to make the pretty topper. "Angels watch over things." The brunette whispered as she lowered the ornament into the ground, "Please watch over him."
Lastly, was a letter she had written to Jason. Words she wished she had been strong enough to say while he was still here, but of course she hadn't. The young art student had found expressing her feelings to the one person who meant the most to her, extremely difficult. So, instead the petite brunette decide, if she couldn't say what she felt, then she would do the next best thing and write them down. Of course, Jason would never see the letter. It would never been mailed, but the feelings would be spoken in the only way she knew how by writing them down. By doing that she acknowledged them, and put them in a place where she could keep them close to her heart.
Carefully Elizabeth removed the flimsy piece of paper from it's keeping place and read the contents one last time. A stray tear fell, marking the letter in sadness. As she continued to read, the tears continued to fall, the young woman not even bothering to brush them away.
God, where do I even begin? I wish I knew. I wish you knew. I wish, more than anything, that instead of writing these words on this piece of paper, I had found the courage to tell you how I truly felt before you left.
I have never met anyone like you, which is funny because Emily had always told me how different you were, and you could tell in the way she talked about you that she loved you very much. I finally understand every word she ever told me.
I am doing better in school. I don't let the professors get to me like before, and I do think I am actually learning knew things - ones I can apply to my paintings. So, that's good, righ?. I don't think I will ever be able to capture anything like the wind, but, then again I was truly inspired when I painted that. I have you to thank, of course.
I'm starting to ramble again. I guess it's because I am procrastinating on the real reason I am writing this letter. I don't know how to, even in a letter, one, you will never see, to tell you how I feel.
So here goes. I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. I go to my studio to paint, and all I can think about is you. You never demanded anything of me and you always let me just be. Your calm, quiet presence meant so much to me. I gave me strength I never knew; and, I guess, I didn't really realize how much, until you were gone. I go out everyday and try to smell the snow. I just can't do it without you. I am sure you are thinking that I only miss you for your motorcycle; but, Jason, it was so much more than that. I wish you truly knew how much you did for me. How, I didn't think I could go on until I met you. You entered my life, and things started to make sense again. They don't make as much sense since you left. But I am trying to get pass missing you. It's just so hard sometimes. And yes, I am still stalling on telling you what I really want to, but a part of me is afraid to say it even in a letter.
Whew, okay, so this is what I want to tell you, what you never knew.... I love you, Jason Morgan. I truly love you, and whether I have the chance to ever say those words aloud to you, they will be in my heart forever.
Nodding, satisfied that she had expressed her emotions eloquently enough, Elizabeth, brought the paper to her chapped, numb lips, and placed a lingering kiss on its contents, just like the one Jason had bestowed on her forehead before he left Port Charles. Then the brunette refolded the letter and returned it back into it's envelope. Staring at it one last time, the young woman arranged it with the other objects and began to bury it deep within the snow.
Her task now completed, Elizabeth rose, not bothering to shake the snow off her legs, and then she turned, ready to return to Port Charles. What Elizabeth didn't realize due to the fact she was so caught up in her own thoughts, that a dark the shadow crossed over the tree as she started her trek back towards town.